Tues. 9.30.08 Dialogue and Beginnings

Due Today:
1. Rough draft #1
2. Notes for "Might Be a Little Bit Painful" by Polly Evans
3. Vocabulary for "Might Be..."

Today we:
1. Worked on adding dialogue and beginnings to our stories.
2. Practiced editing using a student example

Homework:
1. Rough Draft #2 WITH dialogue and a _great_ beginning due next class: Thurs. 10.2.08
2. Peer Edit sheet for Draft #1 OR #2 due next class: Thurs. 10.2.08

IF YOU WERE ABSENT:
Make sure to complete the "Dialogue and Beginnings" handout (pasted below)

Travel Writing: Beginnings Name ________________________

Using the travel stories we have read, find one example of each of the 3 types of beginnings listed below. In the space provided, write the first two sentences from the story that has that type of beginning. (6 points)

1. Beginning in the middle of the action Story ___(Adventures of Mega Chicken)____
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2. Beginning with an intriguing description Story ___Size of the World________________
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3. Beginning with a statement about the main character Story___Deep Fried Potato Bug________
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Now, write an effective “hook” and the rest of the beginning paragraph for your travel story. Indicate which beginning technique you are using by circling, here: (Action, Description, or Statement about Character) (6 points)
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Travel Writing: Dialogue Name ________________________

Dialogue done well:
“Er…is this your first time doing gua sha?” he asked tentatively in heavily accented English. He laughed anxiously. He had the demeanor of a person confronted with a difficult, potentially embarrassing situation. Something about him suggested that perhaps I shouldn’t be there.
“Yes,” I replied far too confidently.
“Aaahh.” His grin now grew close to a fearful grimace. He clenched and stretched his muscular fingers, then added, “Might be a little bit painful.”
Deep within me, an uneasy suspicion started to stir. And then, before it could develop into full-fledged panic, the masseur rather cautiously picked up a flat brown implement from the tray beside the bed and started to scrape at my back (Evans, “Might Be a Little Bit Painful,” 13)

Imitation (8 points):
Recreate the dialogue, above, using the character and setting from your travel story. Go line by line, substituting details that are relevant to your story and your character.

Here’s a start (already punctuated):
“Er…is this your first time ______________________?” ______ asked ___________ly in heavily accented English. He ___________ed _____________ly. He had the demeanor of ____________________________________________. Something about _________ suggested that perhaps ___________________________________________________________________
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Now, you add the punctuation, dialogue, and narration (still following the format of the example, above) :
__________ I replied far too _____________ly
__________ His __________now became a _____________________. He ___________ and __________________________________________________________________________, then added, “__________________________________________________________________.
Deep within me, __________________________________________________________
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And then, _____________________________________________________________________
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You try it (10 points):
Choose a moment from your travel story to expand with dialogue. The beginning and the moment of climax are good places to “slow down the moment” and add detail using dialogue. Remember to only include meaningful dialogue; it should add new information to the reader’s understanding of the setting, character, or plot.
For this assignment, show your character interacting with someone else, using dialogue written in grammatically correct form. Write at least ten complete sentences